Legal Bickering

I'm just going to vent a little bit today. In my home state of Arizona, there's been a bit of an uproar the last few months that reminds me of my children. To my understanding, it started when a baker and a florist refused service to homosexual couples for their marriage ceremonies. The couples were upset, probably feeling slighted, discriminated against, and judged. My honest views on the subject are that a person shouldn't deny a person business service just because they don't agree with how it will be used, but that they should have that choice. It's their business, their flowers, and if it makes them uncomfortable, their patrons are better off without an unwilling participant.

Either way, I think there are a dozen ways the customers could have handled the situation. Using social media, they could make sure the world knew how they'd been treated, they could post reviews on the multiple sites that give businesses ratings, and they could go someplace else with their business, spreading the word as they went. But they went to gov't mommy and complained... meaning they filed a "Stop it!" lawsuit. Really? A business slights you, so you're going to play the lawsuit card and get them closed down?

Then comes the retaliation.  Anybody else feel like you're watching children quarrel in the backseat of a minivan? So friends or other business owners (I'm not sure which), pushed a bill put through congress saying, "We don't have to if we don't want to."

And then all the siblings took sides and started whining to their parents about the unfairness of it all, making the entire minivan (Arizona) erupt into petty, squabbling, children... all of it aimed at the parents, the lawmakers.

Solution? When our kids squabble during the road trip we tell them they can settle down and leave each other alone, or they can stand outside the car for ten minutes until they cool off. I only wish we could kick people out of the state for a year until they calm down and learn how to deal with one another in a civil, respectful, way. I only wish.

In the Eyes

Yes, I have an eye fettish.
When I was seventeen, working at the register in a local drug store, an old couple came to the counter with beaming faces.
"You're a nice girl," said the woman.
I had never seen this lady before in my life. "Um...thank you."
Smiling at my nervous embarrassment, she explained. "I don't have to know you to know you're a good, nice girl. It shows in your face and in your eyes."
The woman was sweet, and I appreciated the compliment. As a religious person, I'd always believed that the way a person lived was reflected in their countenance, but I don't think I'd ever had someone compliment me on that "inner glow" before.
Later, I came upon the passage of scripture which states: "The light of the body is the eye; if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light." It's been my favorite scripture for years.

It's no wonder that I love stories in which people's eyes play a major role, most of which are science fiction, fantasy, and horror. Dr. Who is particularly good at playing with this. It's also no wonder that eyes play a major part in the stories I write. Even if eyes don't change color, the shape, color, and movement of a person's eyes often have metaphorical meanings for me. Sometimes I don't even realize I've written in those meanings until I come back later to critique my writing. I wouldn't be surprised if other people have caught meanings that I haven't. If so, I'd love to hear about it. What are your thoughts on eyes being the windows to the soul?

Exactly what I expected

My anthology became available on Kindle exactly on time: March 1st. Between figuring out the graphics and the formatting, I barely made my self-inflicted due date. Of course, it released with an error in the description and my illustrator appears as the author, but I expected that. Not exactly that, but something like it, which is why I put out my anthology before my novel. See, it's my practice run. I knew I would make mistakes, in formatting, in printing, and throughout the whole process. I did the anthology first, so I can learn from my mistakes, and I hope the release of my novel will go forward without any glitches. It won't.

Before I went into this publishing adventure, there was one thing I was absolutely sure about--it would be harder than I expected. Like I predicted, it has been, and since I expected that, it's actually been exactly what I expected. When I feel like pulling all my hair out and screaming, I remember, I knew it would be like this before I went in. I just have to grit my teeth, do more research, and figure out how to fix the problems.

I think if I approached more of my life in that manner, I'd probably have a lot less frustration. Moving has been harder than expected, raising kids, the list goes on. But don't we all figure out at one point that life is going to be a bit harder than expected? So, let's just buck up, remember to smell the roses, and ease off on the frustration. So, it's hard. It's not like we expected anything less. Keep smiling, world! :)

What's in a name?

I decided I need a publishing company for my self-publishing endeavors, for a lot of reasons, and started trying to come up with a name. Easy, right? No. First, I wanted to name it after my oldest son and daughter, who were instrumental in giving me the confidence to start writing as a career, but BS Publishing didn't seem like a good idea. Cartwheel sounded fun. Taken. I tried a few sci-fi words--all taken. I thought I might name it after my dad, as a kind of memorial since he always wanted to put out a self-help book and never got around to it. Drexel should be easy since it's such an uncommon name, right? Nope. It's a well-known university. Tried a combination of mine and my husband's initials. Nope. I think there must be a million publishing companies out there. And then it hit me. The name that I knew would be available: Drupokamo.

Drupokamo isn't a word, you say? I'm a writer... I'm a FANTASY writer. I make up words all the time. Names for places, people, things, races. What better name for my publishing company than the made-up word that my oldest son and his friend came up with, that means a made-up word. Yes, you read that right. Drupokamo (still not sure I'm spelling that correctly) is a made-up word that means... a made-up word. Perfect for my made-up publishing company that exists solely as a device for my made-up books.

Now for the next obstacle: How to fit Drupokamo on a spine cover. Hmmm....

On crying

We all have our triggers, and I have my emotional moments, but I found myself crying today and feeling embarrassed about it. While I went through yet another box of odds and ends (we're in the process of moving), trying to figure out where to put everything, I watched What to Expect When You're Expecting on Netflix.  At the end, I cried. Not just a few tears down the cheeks, either. There were cough-to-hide-the-sob moments.

I'd like to blame it on the stress of moving,  or the emotional drain caused by reading my editor's comments on my latest manuscript (I think he must have found a way to digitally slit a wrist into a Word file). If I'm honest, though, the movie just found one of my emotional triggers. Without the stress in my life, I still would have had to hold back the tears. I have five kids. If I watch a movie about the ups and downs of pregnancy and the beauty of childbirth, I'm going to get emotional. Even the adoption scene got to me, because I just love the joy children bring and the sacred trust we take when we bring them into the world and promise to care for them.

It's worth it to have these moments. There are times when I cry with joy, times when I cry from pain. In the end, I draw on these emotions when I write about my characters. I hope it makes them more real and they can remind us of the things that matter most, whether  trials include CSF-draining aliens or just moving a bunch of boxes from one house to another.  We will find a way to prevail, and we must always believe in that strength.

The Out-of-the-ordinary Thanksgiving List

On facebook I'm doing a countdown to Thanksgiving of the things I'm most thankful for, but this is a list of those things that might not come immediately to mind for most people. I'm a bit strange, and here's proof.

1) Washing Machines: I lived in the Philippines while serving a mission for the LDS church. For many reasons that I won't go into here, we hired someone who bought most groceries, cooked, and did laundry. But there were plenty of times when we did our own or we stopped to help someone with their laundry. I learned to use a washboard or my knuckles and a bar of soap to get my clothes clean and I can definitely say, I appreciate washing machines. (I'm the one on the right.)

2) Kitchen Sinks: When my husband and I married, we were both poor college students so when my uncle offered to let us live in the 1940's house/office building that had once belonged to my grandfather, we gratefully said yes. Unfortunately, the kitchen had no sinks, stoves, or any appliances besides a refrigerator. We used a hotplate and crock pot to cook and we had a couple of little blue tubs that we could just fit under the bathroom faucet to fill with hot water so we could wash our dishes. I still have one of them.

3) Pooper scoopers: I've bought all the fancy ones. They break. The one we have now is like something from an old 50's movie, where the guy goes around with the garbage bin that flops to the ground and the person sweeps garbage into it, only we use a rake. May be archaic, but it beats grabbing the stuff with a plastic grocery bag.

4) Toilet paper: See time spent in the Philippines from above. 'Nuff said.

5) Disneyland: No reason. I just love Disneyland.

Anyone else? What are the unusual items on your gratitude list?

A Short Shout-out

Yesterday was Veteran's Day. I spent the day with my family, thankful to live in a free, thriving country. If you question that second part  then I suggest you visit a third-world country, or one run by a dictator. We have our problems, but we're still relatively free to do with our lives as we please, to strive for opportunities and make of ourselves what we wish.

As far as I know, no one in my ancestry served in the armed forces. My dad was recruited for the Vietnam War then turned away because of a funky metal plate he'd had in his chest since he was a child. And yet, I'd always been raised to respect the men who have fought for our country and our freedoms. I was raised in the 70's, so I wasn't raised to respect the women who fight for our country, but I equally appreciate their work and sacrifice.

I don't want to go on and on today, but in the month of Thanksgiving and veterans, I just want to raise a civilian salute to all who have served and do currently serve. I have friends among those ranks, and thanks to my nephew's enlistment last year, I have kin among the few, the proud, the marines. Thank you for your service.